I never had this blog when I was expecting Miss Belle, so I’ve never written any pregnancy update type posts. I don’t want to bore you all with my moans (sorry, I’m just not someone who “glows” and breezes through pregnancy,) so I won’t be doing them weekly. But I thought I’d do a couple along the way, as and when the mood strikes. I was going to write one after our 20 week scan as a sort of half way point, but I ran out of time. So here’s that, plus a month more…
So, here’s the thing about second pregnancies…
It’s true what your friends say. They are harder than the first! Whether that’s because you’re already looking after another child, or because your body is older and has been stretched before. For me, everything that hurt last time, hurts earlier and hurts more.
I vividly remember going Christmas shopping when I started my maternity leave with Miss Belle in early December. I’d be about 36 weeks. I had to sort of waddle and the pressure ached the bottom part of my bump. Well, yeh, I’ve already had that a couple of times already and I’m only just 24 weeks. So, Christmas shopping this year is going to be fun! (Well actually it’s all being done online this year.) I’ve already experienced this when walking to town and back and just this weekend after doing some jobs in the house then going to Tesco for an hour. I don’t know if the baby is lower down or if it’s just my body is already broken.
I’ve also been having round ligament pain again, which I did have last time. It’s about the same and gets me when I’m getting out of bed or the car usually, but I’ve had a couple of days where it’s then carried on and off throughout the day, so I’ve had to take some paracetamol. I’ve tried to keep swimming but actually I’ve noticed it gets worse after that. I really enjoyed swimming when pregnant last time and wanted to carry on as much as I could. Today the pain was more like a sharpish stabbing pain in my groin. A quick google and that sounds more that pelvic girdle pain/SPD, which I had right at the end with Miss Belle. So I think I need to be careful. If it carries on I may get a midwife appointment before my next 28 week one, but we’ll see.
Anyway, enough about the aches and pains… Just remember when you moan and your husband tells you its “easy” to have a baby (I think we were discussing the actual pushing a melon out of your arse feeling at that point) – you have a right to throw whatever you’re holding at him and demand chocolate on tap for the week.
Less attention and way more guilt
The next thing that’s true about second pregnancies is that from the start, they get less attention. Whether that’s from friends and family, or from yourself. When I was pregnant with Miss Belle I used to get a 10 minute bus journey to work. Every day I’d sit there and read my three pregnancy apps (yes I had three!). I’d read about how big the baby was compared to a vegetable and all that stuff. This time, although I get an alert every Monday telling me how many weeks I am, I only have the one app, and it’s only been glanced at a handful of times. I actually feel guilty. Like this poor baby is getting less attention before it’s been born. But when you’re trying to make sure your toddler doesn’t fall and crack their head open on the coffee table, the app just has to wait.
Slightly less anxious
I think I’ve been more relaxed in this pregnancy than last time, which is probably natural. When you’re a first time mum you don’t know what every little tweak and pain is, but this time it’s all a lot more recognisable. I’m now starting to feel some really lovely movements so I’m sort of getting a bit of a pattern of when this baby is active.
But still the worry…
The most stressful part of this pregnancy yet was the 20 week scan. The baby wasn’t in a good position and there was a specific heart check the sonographer couldn’t see. She didn’t want to panic us but she wanted to get someone else to have a look. When I heard the words “I don’t know if I need to refer you yet” I have to admit I started to panic. But then she said she thought it was probably fine, everything else looked ok. But she wanted a fresh pair of eyes to check. She was really nice and really reassuring but I have to admit I had sudden thoughts rush through my head. Mostly, “come on baby, behave!…. No, there can’t be anything wrong…. Shit, what if there is something wrong and we end up having a baby with heart problems who has to have operations…?”
Luckily after 35 minutes, all was well in the end. Even the other lady couldn’t find what she needed, and just as we were about to head out for lunch and come back an hour later, the first sonographer found what she needed. That was a big relief!
Still totally grateful
The best thing by far about this second pregnancy and having a slightly older toddler, is that Miss Belle understands there’s a baby in Mummy’s tummy. She’s cuddled it, said hello, and tried to hear it. She even felt the baby move the other day when she had her head resting on my tummy. It is so lovely. We keep explaining to her what “family” is (not in a gruff Eastenders “faaaaaaamily” kind of way). But we say, “Mummy, Daddy, Isabelle and baby – our family!”. Now when she wakes up every morning she collects three of four teddies and places them on top of her new bookcase in her bedroom and says “aww family.” Priceless.
Tonight I start pregnancy yoga which I’m really looking forward to. I did it last time and loved it. This last week I’ve also dug out my hypnobirthing book and cd and listened to that a few times. I fall asleep instantly when I listen to it, so even if I’m not hearing it all, it’s relaxing me and sending me off to sleep nicely! I highly recommend it and will be writing a post on it very soon.
Until the next one.
Oh and ps – the nausea has stuck around for longer too. Joy.