I’ve been wanting to write a post about, how sometimes it feels like parenting is about competitive badness for a while, but I haven’t because I didn’t want to cause outrage and a backlash. Do you know what I mean? Do you ever just get a general “my life’s worse than your life” kind of vibe whenever you scroll through Facebook? You know.. “I got 2 hours sleep last night” “Ah well I’ve had 2 hours sleep every night for a week.” Or that lovely phrase “My child’s feral”… “Mines more feral…”
Now don’t get me wrong. I know that some people, me included, find parenting tough. It’s not all a bed of roses. Hell when you have to clear up sick and pick poo out of a bath, life is not fun. Being a grown up, is literally shit sometimes (no pun intended). Sleep deprivation is a killer. A real life means of torture. When you’re so tired your eyes are stinging, life is definitely hard. But being a parent is one of the most amazing things in the world. And sometimes I think we feel bad for daring to share our happiness.
What sort of parenting blog is this?
So many bloggers have made their name by telling it truly how it is. They don’t sugar coat this parenting thing. Think of some of my blogging idols. Hurrah for Gin, The Unmumsy Mum, Brummy Mummy of 2. They are not only fabulous writers, but their honest and funny accounts of their parenting woes (and to be fair, their wins) has led to thousands, no millions, of followers. But I think the majority of people who like these bloggers and writers, like them, because they share the tough side to parenting very openly. They make people having a hard time, feel a bit better. There’s comfort in knowing you’re not alone. And that is so important. I’m not knocking it.
When I started this blog, I wasn’t sure what way I was going to write. Was I going to be funny, ranty, or wear my heart on my sleeve? I tried a few funnies, our spectacular shit bath time, and the time Miss Belle had a meltdown on our solo beach trip. These were honest accounts of funny scenarios that had happened to me. But then, I’ve also written about finding happiness and feeling content in an every day weekend in the garden. And my weekly round-up posts often include a snippet of something nice we’ve done as a family at the weekend. I couldn’t keep up just moaning or ranting. For starters I didn’t have enough material. And also, it’s just not me. (Though I was once told by a new work colleague that I moan a lot – yep, thanks for that!). I still haven’t really found my voice or my style I don’t think, so it’s a mixture of funny and some soppy stuff. (I just can’t help it, I’m a soppy kind of girl.)
Anyway, I digress..
Why it’s ok to record memories
My sister-in-law and brother gave us a memory jar for Christmas, and the other day I was sat filling in the cards to put inside. I wrote about our lovely cycle ride around Blickling to visit the bluebells and having lunch with friends and their kids. It’s a great idea. You write down what you’ve done throughout the year and pop them in a jar. Then on New Year’s Eve or at the end of the year, you open it and are reminded of the lovely things you’ve done. The label on the jar reads “we didn’t realise we were making memories, we just knew we were having fun.” Awwww…
And it got me thinking about this competitive badness thing. Would I be judged if I wrote about how we were recording memories. Would the #blessed #makingmemories haters, hate me? I know that life with a toddler is anything but rosy at times. And if you follow me on Instagram you’ll know that I’ve never actually used one of those hashtags. Hell, I want to forget the biting, the pinching, the tantrums and the nap refusal, like most people. But do you know what…
Parenting isn’t all bad!!
Sometimes, parenting is wonderful. You feel joy and so much unconditional, uncontrollable love, you feel like you could burst. Every day, at some point, I feel like the luckiest person in the world. Not all day every day, but for one brief moment. Like when Miss Belle says “love you” without me saying it first. Like when Miss Belle says “nice day” and grins at me when I talk about everything we’ve done that day before bed. Or when she screams “fatty bum bum!” and laughs so loud its impossible to not smile and laugh too.
So no, I will not apologise for recording some lovely days out, for writing soppy posts, or for having a good day. I will not apologise for being content. I will not apologise for feeling like I might explode with happiness watching my husband push my daughter, screaming “faster!” on her trike.
Yes, of course I will moan with the rest of them when I’m knackered and frazzled. Yes I will have a bad day (probably pretty regularly actually). But know this, parents-to-be. Parenting isn’t all about competitive badness. Being a parent is the most amazing privilege in the whole world, and I’m not afraid to say, it’s awesome!
So go ahead and “make memories” if you want. Life ain’t all bad with kids. Especially if you have a “Faaaaaatttttty BUM BUM!!!!!!!”
I’m linking up with some of my favourite bloggers: