Do I want to be a blogger with a newborn baby?

I’ve recently had a bit of a blogging wobble. Which is possibly silly as it’s not that long since I reviewed my blogging goals for the year and actually when I look at them, I’m not doing too badly. The thing with this latest blogging wobble is, I’m questioning my life choices. This isn’t just a “I’ll never get 10,000 Instagram followers!” wobble. (Let’s just be clear – I know I won’t because I’m just not on there enough, my pictures aren’t cute enough and I don’t use emojis every three words…)

No, this is serious. This is questioning whether I really want to “live my life online” and have blogging consume my life anymore. It could be the hormones playing some part. I’m starting to think what life will be like with a new baby come next January.

I know I’ll have less time to write, follow other bloggers, interact and engage, all of which is so important to blogging and growing an audience. I’ve been doing fewer linky’s recently because I know I can’t keep it up. Miss Belle only naps occasionally now, so my daily blogging time has gone from a glorious two-hours (when I’m at home and she’s not asleep in the car) to 0. And although it may be all very well and good to blog when the new baby naps, when Miss Belle doesn’t nap, I’ll have to play and look after her. At the moment the plan is for her to go to nursery two days a week. So I’ll have two days on my own with the baby. So that’s two days to blog when the baby naps then? Well, maybe. Maybe not.

Let me explain.

When I was off on maternity leave with Miss Belle, I’ve said before and I’ll say it again, we had it pretty good. It was (mostly) lots of NCT meet ups for coffee and cake, walks and picnics. As the kids got older, playing at people’s houses and soft play. When she was tiny I’d watch box sets and eat shortbread whilst I sat feeding her all day. I also could clean the house (something that appears to be dropping down my skill set at the moment), and make dinner. Generally I enjoyed playing the role of “Mummy and housewife”. I was lucky. Miss Belle was a happy content baby. She slept well. She fed well, after an initial hellish few weeks. Apart from the first few months where I felt incredibly anxious and would constantly check she was breathing when she was asleep, I didn’t suffer the baby blues. I didn’t struggle with loneliness like some people do. Or the crippling, yet surprisingly common, post natal depression. Yes when she reached around eight or nine months old I remember sometimes feeling bored if we were stuck at home all day. But we were generally so busy seeing friends that I never really felt isolated or cut off. On the whole, life was good. I absolutely loved being a new mum.

I was free to do as I pleased. Obviously in the beginning feeding in the night was tiring, so I went to bed early, or chilled on days which were a struggle. Whilst I think I only actually managed to “nap whilst the baby naps” twice, in the first few weeks, never in a spare moment did sit writing blog posts. I didn’t sit reading blog posts either. I didn’t do blog admin like update plugins and remove broken links. I didn’t even scroll through Instagram (I didn’t even HAVE Instagram!). I didn’t check through 30 Facebook notifications from blogger groups or join comment threads or Instagram instants. I didn’t email brands and SEO robots. I never had a never-ending blogger’s To Do list. Like right now, I have 140 red flagged emails in my inbox. 140 RED FLAGGED EMAILS! AND I DON’T WORK! They’re all blogging related. 100+ emails are sat there waiting to be read too. And God knows how many are blogging tips type posts that I’ve signed up to, thinking I’ll read them later when I have caught up. What was I thinking?!

I also didn’t go about every trip out thinking about camera angles or taking photos in a certain way. If I took a photo it was of my gorgeous baby which I shared with friends of family on WhatsApp or my private Facebook page. They weren’t shared with thousands of people I don’t know.

So, do you see where I’m going?

I just am not sure I want to be a blogger with a newborn baby.

I don’t want to spoil those newborn days. That’s not to criticise any bloggers out there who have babies and are blogging. A lot of them are doing it because a) they want to or it helps them overcome difficulties, b) they are incredibly talented and c) they are blogging to earn an income. I guess the thing is, I never started blogging to make an income. It was sort of always at the back of my mind that maybe one day (as in when Miss Belle is at school), I could, if I tried. But the more I blog the more I realise what a massive effort it is. Effort in terms of time, effort in terms of sheer bloody hard work, and effort in terms of sacrifices you make. You cannot switch off. Ever. And again this isn’t to criticise anyone who chooses to do it. But, I mean not spending time with your husband whilst you type away at a keyboard every night, or whacking on The Gruffalo because you really must email that person back today and your toddler will not just play by their bloody selves for 5 minutes! These are all sacrifices I have made in the past year, although much less recently. I guess I just don’t know if I want it anymore.

Maybe I just want to be a Mummy again.

And maybe that’s ok.

The thing is I know I’ll miss it. I know on the days the weather is terrible and I get those itchy bored feelings, I’ll think, if only I was blogging that’d keep my brain active. There are so many things I love about blogging. The writing, the chatting to other bloggers, the support and camaraderie. Even the bloody photo editing. And the challenge is definitely what I love the most.

But I also know I don’t want the next newborn days to be any less special because of my blog. If I want to sit there and feed all day and watch boxsets whilst Miss Belle is in nursery, like I did with her, then surely I should? I don’t want to be sat there trying to write a blog post with one hand into my iPhone whilst the baby naps and Desperate Housewives stays firmly on pause. (Yes I’m old school – I have ever series on DVD!) I don’t want blogging to consume my every thought and fill my camera roll with photos that are Instagram worthy but won’t make the baby photo album, because I can’t see my baby’s face.

Tell me, if you became a blogger after your first child and have had another baby, how did you cope blogging and enjoying those newborn days? Did you take a temporary step back for a while. My logical brain says that’s all I need to do. Just to relax, see how I feel, and feel my way through it all. Someone pointed out to me the other day that as much as blogging can be hard work, it’s also a wonderful way to record memories. And I look back at some of my early posts about how beautiful Miss Belle is and think, yep, I’m glad I wrote that. Even Matt has read the odd post and said “aww that was really nice”. So that’s something else to consider. Not writing about the highs and lows of our new baby might make having a second child seem less important, or less monumental. And it shouldn’t be.

Of course there’s a chance the next baby will be a complete devil child and I could turn slowly insane without my blog too.

But part of me wonders whether I should I pack it all in, altogether? Take the pressure off. Take the all-consuming blogging life completely away so I can just feel “normal” again. I could always start again in a few years time. I’ve already wondered if I was to blog again, would I be anonymous. Though how the heck do you share stuff on social media if you’re anonymous?!

Help. The blogging wobble is real.

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44 Comments

  1. 6th September 2017 / 3:06 pm

    Have you ever seen those blogging threads on Facebook where a blogger will ask, “Do you ever think about just quitting your blog?” and so many – well-known, successful – bloggers will reply, “Yes, every day.” I think worries and fears like you’ve expressed are very common.
    It comes down to what you’re hoping to achieve from your blog, I think. Do you want to record memories and share with friends? Or are you looking to create a full on career for yourself? Or something in between? I know that when my second baby was born, I had more time to blog, but my eldest was in 15 hours free childcare 4 mornings a week, and I was used to working a 50 hour week before maternity leave kicked in. I was of the mindset that my maternity leave was too precious to waste! Although, to be honest, the growth didn’t really happen – and I didn’t really have a concrete plan for money making – until I really found my niche and purpose.
    The problem with blogging – and , I imagine, any business that you start up yourself – is that it can take every single moment of your attention. The demands of social media are constant and always on your phone, right next to you. It’s very hard to switch off.
    But… There are so many benefits, and it is lovely to have something that is all your own… that’s mostly why I love it and keep working at it! Even if you take a few months off, post a lot less, you’ve still got a blog to be proud of xxx

    • thisismenow
      6th September 2017 / 3:57 pm

      Thanks so much Naomi. Yep I think part of my problem is I yoyo between what I want from my blog! I change depending on how motivated I feel! And I don’t really have a purpose or anything to offer, I just like to write. I think I’ll just take the pressure off a bit and see how I go. I do love that it’s all mine. Something quite rare now I’m a mum and don’t work. Thanks for your lovely comment xx

  2. 6th September 2017 / 7:47 pm

    the struggle is completely real i gave my blog up for nearly two years I found it extremely difficult to keep up with children but do you know what when I went back to read it around eight weeks ago now I realised some of the things I had blogged about my children I couldn’t remember until my blog posts jogged my memory so maybe just write your blog like no one is reading it or try and do a post a month about life rather than the reviews and other bits I completely understand where you are coming from though if you ever want to chat feel free to get in touch #fortheloveofblog

    • thisismenow
      6th September 2017 / 8:00 pm

      Ah thanks so much. Yes this is true, I’ve re-read some of my older posts from when my daughter was one and smiled at them. There’s definitely something about recording the special moments that I’d miss. Thanks so much for reading x

  3. 6th September 2017 / 9:13 pm

    I so indeed tan where younger coming from….. You can see how you feel as the pregnancy progresses. Don’t make any decisions yet lovely xx

    • thisismenow
      7th September 2017 / 8:11 am

      Thanks Hun xx

  4. 7th September 2017 / 10:31 am

    I am due my second baby in February and I know deep down I am thinking all the things you are thinking! Maternity leave is going to be different anyway with a toddler in tow, and do I really want to put more pressure on myself to blog whilst having a newborn? But, I currently have a full time job, a 2 year and blog on the side. So I figure I will actually probably have MORE time with a newborn. Those 12am, 2am, 4am (etc etc) feeds can be lonely and last time I filled my time with blogging (and online shopping, but let’s not talk about that…) I am trying to remember why I blog in the first place – to record my memories of my family. I will never be a successful blogger. I know that. So I am content to earn a little bit of side money, whilst keeping my blog for me, and I hope that won’t change when the new baby comes. I hope you find a happy medium for you and the family! #coolmumclub

    • thisismenow
      12th September 2017 / 3:21 pm

      Thanks so much and congratulations on your pregnancy. Yep, I agree – I suppose I always get swept away with the successful bloggers earning proper money from it but that’s currently not me. You probably will feel like you have more time, you sound busy! Although I think I’ll be avoiding my phone in the night, last time that used to keep me awake so after the initial high of NCT whattsapp chats at 2am I packed it in and would just lie half asleep in the dark! Good luck with it all xx

  5. 7th September 2017 / 10:39 am

    I totally get this, and actually I have felt the same way over the last year. When I started blogging mine were 1, 2, 3 and 11 and it was just a hobby. As my blog grew I realised that it was a full time job and the whole point of me staying at home was to spend time with the children, not working away at the computer! I think it’s about finding a balance that works for you. Good luck! #sharingthebloglove
    five little doves recently posted…For Meggy on your first day of primary schoolMy Profile

    • thisismenow
      12th September 2017 / 3:22 pm

      Thanks Laura, I think when it turns into your job it must be even harder. For me the lines are still blurred so I still need to find that balance! xx

  6. 7th September 2017 / 11:06 am

    I didn’t start my blog until my daughter was nearly one, but I often wish I’d started sooner as I found the newborn phase very lonely. I think maybe just don’t put pressure on yourself. Keep the blog, but just write when you want to and don’t’ worry about stats and keeping up. Write when you feel like it. Good luck! #coolmumclub

    • thisismenow
      12th September 2017 / 3:23 pm

      Thanks, sound advice! x

  7. 7th September 2017 / 4:40 pm

    I started blogging when N was about 4 months old I suppose. It was for us, a journal, and it wasn’t until 10 months old I realised there were other parenting blogs out there and went self hosted. My OH works all the time and I no longer danced 4 nights a week so I had plenty of time. I don’t have a second child, but I think I’d still want to record the journal side of things for me and the children. But without the stress of the blogging ‘needs’ and community.

    • thisismenow
      12th September 2017 / 3:24 pm

      Yeah, I hadn’t really thought about the documenting our lives part, which really is the whole point! Thanks very much for reading and your comment xx

  8. 7th September 2017 / 4:49 pm

    I think with blogging you can do as little or a lot. You can have a break and come back. That is why blogging is so appealing. But at the end of the day you have to do what is right for you X #coolmumclub

  9. 7th September 2017 / 8:46 pm

    This post is speaking to me on so many levels Susie. I’m always having a bloggy wobble (particularly this week in fact), and I’m not pregnant, working and I’m in theory ‘anonymous’.

    I have often wondered how bloggers with babies do it – I started when my youngest was 6 months old and have always blogged only during naptimes (eldest at nursery then school), evenings or more recently, when the youngest is at pre-school. It’s not easy but it is still the same passion I started with. And you’ll have so much stuff to blog about!

    My advice is step back, be prepared to blog less or not at all for a while. Prioritise yourself and your family…you’ll know when the time’s right to come back, and we’ll all be right here waiting for you xx

    Thanks for linking up to #coolmumclub
    MMT recently posted…#CoolMumClub Linky is BAAACCKK! Week 75My Profile

    • thisismenow
      7th September 2017 / 9:14 pm

      Ah thanks so much. That means a lot. I think you’re right. I do love the writing side so I hope I can continue that like you say in nap time etc. I think I’ll have no choice to step back for a while and see how it goes. Xx

  10. 7th September 2017 / 10:53 pm

    Completely understand where you are coming from with your ‘Blogger wobble’. Just don’t overthink it. You’re having a new baby and your other little one are top priority. That’s how I looked at it when I had my second baby in March. EVERYTHING took a back seat, as is what happens with a new baby, and I relished the time I had to soak everything up and waited for my blogging mojo to come and find me again and, gradually, I have started to write regularly again and am learning how to juggle things best. We all put so much pressure on ourselves! Don’t sweat about it, the internet will always be here. The newborn days won’t be. #FortheloveofBLOG

    • thisismenow
      8th September 2017 / 7:51 am

      Thanks so much, that’s very kind and wise! Xx

  11. 8th September 2017 / 4:45 pm

    I feel the wobble ever so often. And I am not working and have just one pre-schooler (as yet)… and still find it tough to juggle it all. I wonder if I will be able to keep the blog going when we plan another child…But then even as I wonder how much ‘free’ time I would have if I wasn’t blogging, I also realise that blogging gives me something ‘adult’ to do, it keeps me sane and connected to a wonderfully supportive community and somewhere, despite the hard work it involves, it makes me happy. So I guess it’s just about finding a balance and doing how much you can manage without it stressing you out. If you enjoy it, keep going. If it’s more stress, give it a break. As you said, you can always return. All the best.
    #coolmumclub

    • thisismenow
      12th September 2017 / 3:27 pm

      Thanks very much. It’s definitely enjoyable, I think I do just put too much pressure on myself. Thanks for your kind comment xx

  12. 8th September 2017 / 8:40 pm

    I would say don’t make any decisions until the time comes and then see how you feel. I know that I’ve had to take a big step back from the blog lately, and to accept the drop in stats and rankings that comes with that. But it’s a price I’m more than willing to pay to make the most of these baby days. I’ll be honest, I didn’t enjoy them first time around, and this time I’m blessed with a happy, easygoing baby, so I really want to make the most of that. Your followers and audience will still be there if you decide to pick it up again – you’ve built the foundation, it won’t collapse and you won’t have to start from scratch again. I’m only blogging things that I really want to, and it’s helped me to focus on that. I’m not doing any linkys (apart from SharingtheBlogLove of course!) and I feel like I’m always behind, but I think I’ve just accepted that’s how it’s going to be for now. I definitely wouldn’t want to abandon the blog altogether – it keeps me sane, and I love all the friendships and positive things that have come from it. But I’ll be honest, some days I just can’t form the words to write anything coherent! Best of luck with making the right decision. Thanks for joining us at #SharingtheBlogLove

    • thisismenow
      12th September 2017 / 3:28 pm

      Thanks Katy, I think I’ll be emailing you for some advice! Ha! xx

  13. 9th September 2017 / 7:22 am

    I had a blogging wobble over the summer because I felt like I should be spending every moment just enjoying our time as a family, not worrying about the blog. In the end, that’s what I did. I just kept things ticking over and focused on having fun with the family. There were days in the holiday when we didn’t really have anything planned and I was itching to do something for me and those are the times I hit the keyboard. I would say don’t take on any more commitments once you hit around 8 months and just relax and go with the flow. If you feel like you need an outlet write something, if you don’t then leave it. Even if you don’t touch the blog for a year and then decide you miss it, you can always come back, even with a rebrand and a new focus. Just take the pressure off and see how you feel
    #SharingtheBlogLove
    Alana – Burnished Chaos recently posted…Olverum Bath Oil – The Ultimate LuxuryMy Profile

    • thisismenow
      12th September 2017 / 3:29 pm

      Thanks my lovely supportive friend! xx

  14. 9th September 2017 / 7:57 am

    I wish I’d been blogging when my children were babies. I really felt lost as a person and began my blog when my youngest was 5 months old and I wanted to be me again as well as record all of the amazing things my family do. I also want to show my family how much they mean to me. Blogging is both a job and a hobby so I think letting it take a backseat while you adjust to life is normal #coolmumclub

    • thisismenow
      12th September 2017 / 3:30 pm

      Yeh, maybe I’m just weird, I didn’t really feel that lost, I just loved being a new mum and hope I will again. It’s now I have a toddler I struggle more! Though this may well bit me on the ass and I’ll be glad to have it! Thanks for reading xx

  15. 9th September 2017 / 6:17 pm

    I’ve been having a wobble recently as my little one is now 9 months old and needs far more attention and a lot less sleep! I’ve calmed down my schedule a little and given myself time off when needed. I think I’ll be in exactly the same place as you when I have a second – I really hope you find what works for yourself and you family! There’s some great advice and support in these comments… it’s what I love about the blogging community! #coolmumclub

    • thisismenow
      12th September 2017 / 3:32 pm

      Very true – the community is so supportive! Thanks so much for reading and your lovely comment. I remember the sudden into everything stage when they’re definitely no longer a newborn. Good luck! But with each new stage comes more learning and amazement, it’s wonderful to see. Even with the tantrums! xx

  16. 9th September 2017 / 11:19 pm

    I still feel I’m too new/small a blogger to really throw in my tuppence worth to posts like this…but I hate to read and run. My third son is eleven weeks old, and I started my blog a couple of months before his birth. I didn’t write anything for a few weeks after he was born because it just wasn’t a priority to me. I wanted to soak him up, recuperate and focus on finding my feet as a mum of three. I’m slowly starting to work on my blog again now that he’s napping regularly and I have a little time (or…I have housework which I can ignore!). The reality is I only have time for one or maybe two posts a week, and for now that’s fine. It’s my one thing for me, but at the same time it’s not my only thing. I think we all just find our own balance. You will too, whatever shape that takes.
    #coolmumclub

    • thisismenow
      10th September 2017 / 9:07 am

      Thanks so much. And congratulations on your newest arrival. I can’t imagine how busy you are! Xx

  17. 11th September 2017 / 10:24 am

    I started my blog when my third child and youngest was a kindergarten, my two girls were already in school. Sometimes I think blogging may have helped me through those hard early days as a new mummy, but then I am also glad I never had the distraction and extra pressure that blogging can bring. It is a hard question and I wish I had an answer for you #coolmumclub
    Mackenzie Glanville recently posted…Thank you #mummyshotMy Profile

    • thisismenow
      12th September 2017 / 3:34 pm

      Thanks hun, I know, I just wonder would I be happier without it all. Probably not, because it’s given me so much. But part of me wonders if I’d be a better mum without the constant distractions and to do lists! xx

  18. 12th September 2017 / 9:54 am

    The great thing about blogging is there are no rules and no one telling you what to do. If you decide to take a step back, then your blog and your audience will still be here is 3,6 or 12 months time. If you want to post once a week, once a month or every six months that is your choice. Don’t put any pressure of yourself. Pop an out of office on your emails telling people that you are on maternity leave and just leave them alone. Be in your newborn bubble and go with the flow. Thank you for joining us at #SharingtheBlogLove

    • thisismenow
      12th September 2017 / 3:35 pm

      Thanks laura, yes I will definitely do that with the emails! Thanks x

  19. 12th September 2017 / 7:09 pm

    It’s so common to have a wobble. Actually, I started my blog when my daughter was just 5 days old. But writing is my life. My fingers began to tingle and I wanted to reclaim a bit of me again after nightmare nights. I’d say to just take it as it comes. If you feel like you want to take some time off, do it – take a break. Thanks for linking up to #fortheloveofblog

  20. 13th September 2017 / 9:20 am

    This is hard and I guess my first instinct is to say…can you have a little break and just dip in and out when/if you feel like it? However, if you’re anything like me then you won’t be able to do that! I’m an all or nothing person so it is tough, I understand. Blogging is definitely addictive! #sharingthebloglove

  21. 14th September 2017 / 1:51 pm

    Blogging is hugely labour intensive job. Maybe treat it as a hobby (still keeping it to your usual standard) but just doing it when you really want to share something. You can pick it up more later. Tiredness makes things seem so difficult to achieve and you may have to except that it’s ok to have your blog on the back burner. I think it would be a shame to give it up completely x #SharingtheBlogLove

    • thisismenow
      14th September 2017 / 2:15 pm

      Thanks very much that’s very kind x

  22. 16th September 2017 / 4:14 pm

    I started blogging after my first child was born and haven’t stopped since. The linkys certainly help hold you accountable and the memories you write down too will be very cherished. I’ve yet to find out whether my girls find me embarassing but hey don’t we all become that whether or not we record it on a blog or a memory book album. #SharingtheBlogLove
    Helena recently posted…From Cereal Box to Crafted CrownMy Profile

  23. 17th September 2017 / 10:44 am

    Take the pressure off and enjoy being a mum, you could write and either save them up for when you fancy a return to blogging or just publish them for yourself. Maybe take a couple of weeks completely blog free and see how you feel.
    Do whatever feels best for you and your family, you don’t get this time back x
    #sharingthebloglove

  24. 17th September 2017 / 1:42 pm

    It’s hard isn’t it? I would suggest that you write for you and for no other reason. If you’re blog isn’t your income there’s no reason why you can’t just slow down & docit when the mood or time takes you. But I can absolutely see why you wouldn’t want to miss out on anything. Good luck with your decision. #sharingthebloglove

  25. 18th September 2017 / 1:00 pm

    I’d have to say don’t make any decisions, your blog and social media will be there, and still there if you take a break. I’ve taken rather a few breaks and slowed down these last few months, and even leading up B’s birth. All have been different reasons e.g just couldn’t find the time, couldn’t be bothered, couldn’t face it. Juggling it all right now is hard, night after night I turn my laptop on after H is in bed and then spend all evening feeding, so it just gets turned back off. However, I know when inspiration hits I write it on my phone and it goes live straight away, it would be very weird if I couldn’t do that. I love recording those moments and that I’ll be able to look back on them too. I also am stopping myself taking a silly number of behind the head photos and take their faces first and also deleting the behind ones I don’t use. It’s taking discipline but it’s helping keep all my photos more streamlined. Good luck with your decision, but definitely leave the doors all open if you take a break x

    • thisismenow
      18th September 2017 / 1:14 pm

      Thanks so much for your lovely comment. That sounds like a good idea. Congratulations on your newest arrival xx

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